Lice man, covered in lice, so much lice he is turned into light.
He is coming to get me, chasing me from field to room.
I pour gas around myself, fire protects from bugs and darkness.
Light Lice man is not deterred.
Coming at me he engulfs me.
I awake to a beautiful young woman laughing with my husband.
Jealousy serges through me.
I question how am I still alive.
She answers with direct kind force: “I had no room for that story”.
What, that's it? How you defeated Lice Man?
“Yes” clearly and lovingly she say's, “I did not have any room for him in my reality. I just came in, grabbed you and walked away.”
I wake up
I have no room for that story is my new mantra when my mind wields some explanation of how I have failed; what's wrong with me; or any other self criticism my critic or judge sends my way.
I don't even need to explore the story, it is not interesting in the least, just a habit of self-loathing.
There is only room for self love and acceptance. Self love can hold all the negative emotions and shadows of the psyche. They will continue to arise, but I have no room in my body, mind, and daily life to give them any space to reside like lice hatching and birthing on my head.
Five days ago I initiated a new email business campaign and I had very little response. My shadow started telling it's version: I am no good and no one wants what I have to offer. My inner critic was on a tirade of my uselessness. I walked outside put my feet on the ground and ran my energy. All of that gunk flowing out my soles of my feet and out of my body, down into the earth to be recycled.
I HAVE NO ROOM FOR THAT STORY.
Now I am filling in my body with patience, kindness, empathy, and acceptance. I am filling in the leaky holes which self doubt creates, with visions of my classes and practice blooming and bringing me connections that will have a life of there own.
So remember: I HAVE NO ROOM FOR THAT STORY.
It is up to you to set the boundary with total certainty.
Wow swimming with the Spinner Dolphins for ten mornings in a row changed my life. I know how new agey, but being in the water with such a tight knit conscious community of another species has completely opened and clarified so much of what I know is true. Watching the dolphins swim belly to belly, ---PAUSE--Close your eyes right now and visualize two 8 foot long dolphins coasting through the water with their hearts touching, tails moving in tandem. Close your eyes visualize this. Do you feel how that informs the front of your body. Can you feel the change in tone to your belly, chest, face, and heart? A softness and receptivity in your tissue? If not close your eyes again and breath while you visualize their movements together.
Floating in their world I witnessed countless interactions which gave gesture to a magnetic web that is a Pod, a Community. Their movements and sounds were like being indoctrinated into an advanced language of telepathy, sonar, and proprioception (they always know where the other one is in space). My favorite moments are too many as each pass was a gift and I will share some of my favorites. I snorkeled above and fifteen feet below me swam three sets of mothers with calves, encircled by what looked like larger males. Never did I see a mother swimming alone with her calf.
Then there was the miraculous moment when a couple came swimming belly to belly not two feet from me. I was sending my silent thought-heart greeting that went something like: “Hello beautiful beings, thank you, I love you.” They slowed down (as I was swimming as fast as I could which for dolphin speed is like a toddler walking) they let me gaze on them, like the most amazing art piece in the Louvre. Their shape, contour, texture, eyes, mouths lightly smiling, and then I saw his pink penis coming out of her labia (I know I am anthropomorphizing). My mouth-heart-soul dropped and I was totally bathed in love and ease. LOVE AND EASE.
Next it was the young Juvenal who gained speed under the water and sprang out like whirling dervishes of joy. I could not help but yelp in pure celebration of such PLAY. Another time watching them whirl underwater talking in chirps to each other circling around like a contact improve dancers and clowns fused in play. Another time it was the yellow leaves on the fins that were handed back and forth between fins, Martha Graham dancers in their fabric sprang to mind. The calves would chirp and race each other like torpedoes of laughter wiggling their heads and moving their bodies. Then there was the amazing moment of seeing a whole pod approach another pod. Each pod came in as a unit like a massive ship coming into harbor, a body that was ONE. It became so clear how much they were organized and orientated from the position of being ONE. Yet each individual had such a radiant display of purpose and integrity.
TRUTH #1 : WE ARE NOT MEANT TO DO IT ALONE!
All of us animal, mineral, vegetable, creepy-crawlies, birds, trees, waters, soil, air, fire of transformation (digestion, respiration, volcano, mental, spiritual, seasonal) all are interdependent on the connectivity of systems.
HOW HAVE HUMANS COME TO BELIEVE THAT CHANGE, GROWTH, ENLIGHTENMENT, SUFFERING......ARE SOLITARY ENDEVOURS.
We are social by nature. Not “social” going out to a party...hang for an hour or two.....social-like we NEED others for our survival. Community is a embodied living system that flows like weather systems in, out, and through our live providing unexpected rain when there drought, or lightening when something needs to burn, or wind to clarify wrong view. I know we cannot go back to tribal times...however the tribe needs to be alive. Who is your tribe? Do they know each other? Can you provide a way to bring the tribe together to play? Can you invite your tribe out into Nature for an extended couple of days to go through sunrise and sunset together? Does any of this scare you or seem impossible? If yes then you have just met something that holds incredible energy potential and transformation for you!
TRUTH #2 : WE ARE BORN AS LOVE AND INNOCENCE.
Hello, look into the eyes of any baby (once the baby lands in a body from the great transition from water-creator space) and you will see love. What I mean by love is not love of a thing, or a deep relational bond, but love as an experience of space. Taking in things around us openly without thought. Like looking at a sunset, a rose, the sky, or a leaf falling. Taking things in without having to protect our territory or figure anything out. Love is being curious and generous, allowing of the merging of outer and inner spaces. Love is not something saved for the “chosen one's”, that is too complex and impure. Love is a resting, receiving, giving, and spacious essence that IS. So there is nothing to do to get love. Just rest. There is nothing to do to give love. Just be. Then the innocence of that allowing naturally unfolds itself like the most wonderful display of dolphins, fireworks, lovemaking, laughter, insight, mystic revelations, parenting, friendship, or basic kindness.
TRUTH #3: WE MUST PLAY AND EXPLORE TO CULTIVATE ENERGY AND VITALIZE THE ECOSYSTEM OF EARTH AND BODY.
Play is natural. Like leaves falling in the wind. All we need to do is lean into the wind and let ourselves be carried. What I mean by wind is that there is a force that you are playing with. Thus, it is a dance of response to something. What is your wind? It could be a paint brush (if you did not let your ego jump in) and seeing how the paint moves and colors bend and changes. It could be your body being flung around and lifted in a dance session. It could be a great beach frisbee session with hand stands and skyward throws. It could be musical improv jam. It could be rolling down a hill or swinging from a rope. It could be surfing in the Ocean or playing in a wave. It could be playing push-hands (where you each stand on a line and see if you can shift the other persons balance off that line.). It could be playing with your internal Qi as it moves with the mountain or tree. What ever it is, play is uncontrived and arising. Really PLAY is liberation from control. Play allows your body-heart-mind the engagement of the moment. To be a child in the energy of the universe. Let us remember that innocence is a doorway to play. There is no “have to or should's”. There is nothing to know or prove. Really it is just FUN!
---Disclaimer play may take some practice because we are so habituated to being in “Control” Fake it till you make it.-----
TRUTH #4: EASE IS OUR BASELINE.
Take that in. I don't know about you, but I must say it again EASE IS OUR BASELINE. Meaning living in unity with what arises in every moment like it is a wonderful gift from the Three Kings, Great Spirit, your super hero, or your fairy Goddess Mother. Ease is accepting the moment as it is. Ease is what is going to save our nervous systems from totally becoming overwhelmed and desensitized by the speed and volume of our technological age. Ease is what will undue the pattern of eternal “not enough”. Yes you are ENOUGH. Yes what you do is ENOUGH. Being ENOUGH is being in EASE. Just chill out. Hey and notice if you use substances to find ease: wine, pot, movies, sit-coms, shopping, exercising....they are not bad in them selves, but do they bring more aliveness or do they depress or hype your system. How I find ease is through my body. I have come to use my breath to scan my body to bring space to tension. I use gravity, I lay on the floor and get in all kinds of funny postures to unwind the moments of my day. I light a candle and sit at my shrine breathing that's it. I spend a huge amount of time with green plants and nature, the language of plants brings me home. I also have a bit of obsession with hot water, especially since moving to the Northwest, but nothing like a bath filled with Lavender and Ylang-Ylang to set me soft.
How do you find EASE? Really write it down make it a priority!
(and notice if there is a voice in your head saying, “only good things come from hard work” and laugh like a Buddha who is floating in meditation saying, “Ok wear yourself out.”)
EASE=BEING, EASE=YODA, EASE=SPACE, EASE=FLOW!
JUST SAY YES TO EASE